After a breakup
The relationship ended. The pattern may still be with you.
Understand what happened, what keeps pulling you back, and what you need next: letting go, clarity, or deciding about contact.
6 minutesFree profileNo paymentPrivate by default
If any of this is familiar
- I know why it ended, but I still keep hoping.
- I check what they’re doing even though it makes me feel worse.
- I blame myself for most of what happened.
- I replay old conversations.
- I don’t know whether I want closure or another chance.
These are common after an ending. They’re also patterns, and you can understand a pattern without anyone telling you what to do next.
What keeps a breakup going is often a loop.
Checking, hoping, blaming yourself, drafting a message. Each brings a little relief and keeps the ending open. RQ shows the part of that loop that belongs to you, so you can decide what to do with it on your own terms.
What your RQ profile looks at here
- How you handle uncertainty and silence
- How much responsibility you take on
- Where your boundaries sit after an ending
- What tends to repeat across relationships
Your focus
ExampleBoundaries & respect
You tend to take on too much responsibility when connection feels uncertain.
First practices
- 1Separate responsibility from blame
- 2Notice the urge to reach out before acting on it
- 3Name what you actually want from contact
After an ending, you choose what you’re working towards.
The same score can mean something different depending on where you are and what you want to change. That’s why the assessment asks about both before it scores anything.
Where you are
Together, dating, unsure, separated, starting again.
What you want to change
Closeness, conflict, trust, boundaries, clarity, letting go.
Your RQ pattern
Eight dimensions, and the one holding the rest back.
Your personal plan
What to practise first, in your situation, a few minutes a day.
One low score, seven situations
Conflict & repair 62
- Where they are
- Recently broken up
- What they want to change
- Understand what happened
Where the plan puts its attention
See the cycle clearly, without turning it into a plan to get back together.
A first practice: Write how the last three arguments ended. Look for the shared step.
Example. It shows how context changes what a score asks of you; your plan is built from your own answers.
From seeing the pattern to changing it.
See what you get01
Understand
See the pattern connecting your answers.
02
Focus
Know which skill deserves attention first.
03
Practise
Work on small behaviours in real situations.
04
Get support
Use the coach when something happens.
05
See change
Retake your profile and see what moved.
Nobody here will tell you to move on, or to go back.
Your decisions stay yours
RelationQ doesn’t decide whether you should stay, leave or reconcile. It helps you see the pattern either way.
Private by default
Your personal answers are never sold or used for advertising.
No guilt mechanics
No streaks to protect. Miss a day and nothing is taken away.
Safety comes first. Abuse isn’t treated as a communication problem. If your answers suggest you may not be safe, we stop and point you toward people trained to help.
If any of these stop being true, that's a bug, and we'd like to hear about it.
Notes on patterns that outlast a relationship.
Practical pieces on the habits that tend to follow people from one relationship to the next.
Questions people ask after a breakup.
All questionsNo. It helps you understand what happened and what you want, including whether reconnecting makes sense to you. It won’t push you towards getting back together, or towards moving on.
Yes. Everything works from your side alone, and nobody else is told you took it.
That’s common. Your plan can help you notice what contact gives you and what it costs, so the choice about it is yours and clearer. If contact with someone makes you feel unsafe, RelationQ points you towards people trained to help.
The assessment asks about that directly. RelationQ won’t tell you whether to try again. It helps you look at whether the old pattern has actually changed, not only whether the feelings are still there.
No. RelationQ is an educational and self-reflection tool. It isn’t medical, psychological, legal or emergency care, and it doesn’t diagnose anything. It sits well alongside therapy and doesn’t replace it.
Why it is safe to be honest
Your answers are yours. We never sell them or use them for advertising, and you can have all of it deleted. There are no streaks to protect, and RelationQ does not decide whether you stay, leave or try again.
Abuse isn’t treated as a communication problem. If your answers suggest you may not be safe, we stop and point you toward people trained to help.
How RQ is put togetherUnderstand what happened, and what you need next.
Six minutes, a profile of the pattern, and a first step that doesn’t decide anything for you.
Get my RQ profile- 6 minutes
- Free profile
- No payment
- Private by default